Restart

I’m endeavoring to restart this blog.

I haven’t posted in this blog since 2012. That’s a long time. More than ten years. More than a decade. More than one-tenth of a hundred-year life. A lifetime of living has happened in those years: My family experienced separation from abusive relatives. Our son was diagnosed with cancer. We moved to a beautiful new location. And we had many ups and downs, joys and sorrows between those.

I am writing this blog because I work things out in writing. There is something about putting my thoughts in writing that helps me see a problem more clearly. I try to be honest about myself in my writing as I share my struggles, my questions, my victories, and what I am learning through it all along the way. I am a work in progress. I am aware that not every thought or attitude is correct or what or where I want to be. I am struggling to learn and grow and heal and overcome and reach for a closer walk with my King. Everyone’s journey is different and you might not wrestle with the things I do. But I’m letting you come along with me if you choose.

I write several other blogs. Each has a different focus and purpose. I Love To Go A Gardening describes my daily life in Michigan. I share uplifting photos, videos, and websites at I Love To Go A Wondering. I’ve always loved quotes so My Most Favorite Things is a database of my favorite quotes and words.

Beloved Daughter of the King is intended to be a blog about my personal journey of faith. I think that, more accurately, I’d call it a quest, which is defined as “The act or an instance of seeking or pursuing something; a search.” What is my quest? It is to seek the face of the King of Kings.

This blog is the most difficult to write because I’m not writing about outward things, but deep inward ones–the thoughts, questions, and struggles of life. It’s difficult to write about these things because some thoughts are complicated and difficult to put into words. Some questions take a long time to find answers to. Some struggles are raw and messy. When a person writes about deep things, she risks criticism by those who want everything to be neat, tidy, and comfortable with no loose ends, no unanswered questions, no messy emotions. As the following two authors wrote:

“Writers live with fear. Some writers cannot deal with the fear, and so they quit or refuse to publish. In order to write, you must either ignore the fear or trick it into leaving you alone. The fear is very sly, though and hard to trick. The fear in writing comes from exposing your thoughts, your emotions, your experiences, your ideas, your talent, your intelligence and ultimately your self to public scrutiny and possible scorn. The fear is by no means groundless. You have opened yourself up to the possibility of public humiliations…I sometimes wonder if perhaps the greatest novel ever written isn’t gathering dust in some filing cabinet somewhere, simply because its author could not overcome the fear of having it published.”
~ Patrick McManus

“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear.”
~ Stephen King