What We Believe

Several years, ago, my family attended a very small church. After awhile we became concerned about some of the teachings and practices of the church. Eventually we left. Our time at this church was painful, but it was also very interesting, and it is responsible for us going down an unexpected road. I think that just because things are difficult, it doesn’t mean they are bad.

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Who Am I?

Who am I? They often tell me
I would step from my cell’s confinement
calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
Like a squire from his country-house.

Powerful Words

Before I begin writing what I want to write, I need to explain a few things. Several years ago, I discovered the website, Hebrew4christians.com. This site has free Hebrew lessons, and my son and I have been using its resources to teach ourselves Hebrew. It has more than Hebrew language lessons, however. It also provides information about common Hebrew blessings, Jewish prayers, the Scriptures, the Jewish holidays, and weekly Torah portions from a Messianic point of view. I have learned an incredible amount of truth from this site, the awesome beauty of Scripture has deepened, and my faith has grown.

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Spiritual Tensions

I used to think I had God and faith all figured out–I knew what God liked and didn’t like. I knew what pleased Him and what didn’t. I knew what He would do and not do. I had all the answers–or, at least, most of them. As I study Hebrew, I see the awesome depth and beauty of  Scripture, and there are many things that were confusing to me that I understand more. However, the more I learn about God and experienced life with Him, the more I realize that God is so much MORE than I ever imagined: more awesome, more incomprehensible, more immense, more surprising. I realize don’t have all the answers of how He ought, should, and will act–I can only sit back with my jaw opened in amazement. Before, He was safe. But now I realize, to quote the Beaver in C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, that though He is utterly GOOD, He is definitely not safe. He can’t be contained in my little “box” of expectations.

My Duh Truths

Several years ago, I began making a list of what I call “Duh Truths.” Duh Truths are truths that, when I finally understand them, are so simple and obvious that I feel like hitting my head and exclaiming, “Well, DUH!” Sometimes I thought I understood the truths before, and I didn’t realize that I didn’t really understand them until I suddenly DO understand them (got that?). It’s like the truth, “Jesus Loves Me.” I’ve heard that all my life and thought I already knew it, but I didn’t really understand it, and I didn’t really operate out of it, until a few years ago when I REALLY understood it–-at least on a deeper level. I think we will spend all eternity learning truths about God at deeper and deeper levels, and I’m sure that at each new level, I will think, “I didn’t understand it before, but NOW I understand it.”

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Messy Spirituality

I have a book somewhere in my library that I bought and read several years ago–I think it’s called “Messy Spirituality.” One thing in the book really stuck with me. The author said that most people think of progress/growth as a straight line on a graph that goes constantly upward. He said he thought that really growth wasn’t like a constant upward growth, but was more like a squiggly line that went up and down, sometimes forward and sometimes back, but overall went up more than down and forward more than backward. I searched the Internet for a graph that sort of illustrated this so you could understand and found the following graph:

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